“Self Love Used To Be Impossible” True Stories of Addiction

Self Love Used To Be Impossible

At three years old, Angie parents got divorced and she was swapped between her parents throughout her childhood. Her father suffered from an addiction to alcohol, which limited their ability to have a strong relationship. At five, he married a woman who treated Angie horribly.

As she was growing up, both her mother and her stepmother began belittling Angie about her weight which made her very self-conscious. In fifth grade, she began drinking to cope with the pain. By seventh grade, Angie had tried to kill herself because she felt so bad about herself. She ended up being institutionalized where she was diagnosed with manic depression, ADHD and anxiety. She was prescribed medication to treat the mental conditions.

At 16, Angie had back surgery and started taking Percocet. She was dating a 24-year-old and moved out of her family’s house at 18 to be with him. He ended up becoming abusive and eventually strangled her with a phone cord. After being able to barely pass high school, Angie contacted her mom for help. She moved back in with her mom and eventually told her what was happening to her.

A short time later, Angie moved in with friends and got into a fight with a friend. She got in her car, broke a mirror and tried to kill herself again. Her friend called the police and the paramedics came as her phone was ringing. The phone call was her mother saying she was done with her and didn’t want anything else to do with her. She went to the hospital and checked herself out to meet her father. After talking to her father, they started counseling and were able to move on in life. They built a strong relationship until he got very ill. While he was in hospice, he passed away.

When Angie’s Addiction Started

After her father passed, she turned to drugs and alcohol to self-medicate. She started working as a dispatcher and going to college at the same time. Angie told her mom that she was going to go to college and her mom told her to go get her money back because she was just going to drop out. Her godmother supported her and helped her graduate.

She got a degree in medical billing and coding. She moved in with a new boyfriend and got two dogs. While everything seemed to be going well, she was still abusing pain pills on a regular basis. Her work started to notice that something was wrong and gave her an ultimatum. She had the choice to go on short-term disability to get her back fixed or be let go from the job that she loved. She thought that the disability would pay better so Angie chose that option.

She had a second back surgery, she had an accident where she fell down the stairs in her townhome and badly injured herself. She broke her wrist, lost teeth and ended up losing her job too. This is when she started using cocaine and taking pain pills constantly. She was selling the prescriptions that she was getting from doctors so that she could save up money. A friend who lived within her complex got a large settlement and told numerous people about the money that he would be coming into in the near future.

One night someone came to her front door with a gun. Two men came into the house and robbed them for all of their drugs, their money, their ids and even their keys. They threatened if they called the police they would come back and kill them and the dog. It scared her so bad that she would barely leave the house because she didn’t want anything to happen.

The Worst Parts of Angie’s Addiction

Angie and her boyfriend kept selling drugs and while they were moving out someone stole the only money they had for a new place from her purse. Her boyfriend held everyone at gunpoint to find out who had stolen it, but no one had it on them. They eventually ended up in a hotel paying weekly. She was getting disability and he was selling heroin. She decided that they could save money by living on the streets instead of living in a hotel. Police started to harass her and one morning her boyfriend was busted for having drugs and was arrested. She had been using heroin and her addiction was so bad that she wasn’t able to get any when she needed it. People showed up to help her and she realized that she needed to be able to survive on her own if he ever got locked up again.

Her boyfriend eventually hit her, and she decided enough was enough and left him. Someone ended up stealing her dog and thing started spiraling. She eventually saw the person who stole her dog, confronted the person who stole her dog and he called the police on them. It took a few days, but the police did find her and arrested her because the man said that they were trying to steal his phone from him.

She found out that she was getting charged with a felony and is devastated. Her attorney eventually got her out but afterwards she missed many calls and meetings and didn’t show up to her sentencing. A warrant was issued for her arrest.

How Angie Made it Out Alive and Found Recovery

While living in a park, she ended up with sepsis, abscess and a blood clot on her right hand. She wouldn’t go to the hospital because she knew that they would find out who she was and her drug addiction was so bad. While she was on the run, she found out that she had a sister she never knew about. She felt hopeless and was going to let the infection kill her. Someone at the park told her that she either goes and gets help from the hospital on her own or the person was going to call the police and she would go to jail for sure.

She had to have two sections of her vein and resection it. She was in the hospital for nearly two weeks. She had a high fever and was starting to get brain damage. After being released she was arrested at a local park for her warrant. She was released on November 20th and she kept using for quite a while. She was raped four times within one year and almost died. She ended up getting help for drug addiction when a judge sentenced her to an outreach treatment facility where she got 120 days of treatment. She went into sober living and did all of her steps and has three sponsees now. She works at a parking garage and feels very supported. She has a sober relationship where they both go to meetings regularly. Angie is grateful to have the life that she has now.

  1. Wow, this steps to self love is really real, I can tell by seeing how hard it initially was for Angie. Self love is the first step to healing

  2. I am so devastated with the amount of pain and detachment Angie had to endure. She must have such a fighting spirit in finding self love after so many years of abuse. I’m sure she can shed lots of light in steps to recovery and dealing with mental health for other users and people subject to violent partners. Thanks for this really inspiring story.

  3. This is a journey that is so simple and yet so hard to do, finding self love. To be honest it does not or mean vices but rather it can and is everyone’s goal regardless of where and what field you belong. Hell yours truly is an example of that. I too looses focus at times and put people first so much that I forget to take care of myself.

  4. Finding self love is a personal journey, You need to discover your self and start loving it. I love myself and I have been able to love me, jusst the way I am.

  5. I dont think we need to finding self love to anywhere, it’s all start within. Loving ourselves and taking care of our health and body. This are important steps

  6. New drug addicts story should be throwout with hear to people. We hear of total and complete recovery from worst drug addiction stories. Thanks for your continuous lifeguarding posts.

  7. This is a very tough story. I can imagine how much pain Angie felt, and the fact that she was so close to dia, and she got raped is just too much. She must be a strong woman because is very hard to get recovered from all those hard episodes plus the addiction. I bet it was hard finding self love after living all those things.

  8. This has been one of the worst drug addiction stories I have read, it breaks my soul when reading the situations experienced by Angie but I greatly appreciate the strength she had to make a change in her life, she really is a warrior.

  9. Í have read worst drug addiction stories that can be self damaging. Drugs addicts needs self lové to progress to live A better life

  10. One of the worst drug addiction stories I heard is when a drug addicts daughter became a prostitute just to help his father with the expenses for the rehabilitation of her mother. It is just so sad to know that a child is very much affected because of their parents’ addiction.

  11. When you have low self esteem, finding self love is not so easy. The issue can be compounded by parents who always bring down their child as was the case with Angie.

  12. I think one of the most important steps to self love is regaining confidence in one’s self. Once that is done, everything else pretty much falls into place.

  13. This is one of those drug addicts story that actually ends with a recovery. Sadly in most cases, death is usually the end result.

  14. By finding self love, Angie was able to turn her life around and become a better person. That should be a motivational lesson to everyone struggling with addiction.

  15. I always share these addiction stories with my drug addict friends. My hope is that it may touch some of them and push them to change for the better.

  16. We all ha w to love ourselves before we love anyone else. It is very important to have self love. So happy for her at the end.

  17. This is an inspirational story. Finding self love is difficult. You need to be yourself and accept who you are before you can love yourself

  18. Self love is a good thing. It is also one of the ways to progress. Loving oneself can help one to get out of difficult situation.

  19. This is an emotional story. Angie ‘ problem started from her mother and step mother when they started to belittle her which led to her addiction in order to cope with the pain. So happy that she find self love and is now on right path to recovery.

  20.  it can and is everyone’s goal regardless of where. with the right support. your self and start loving it.That should be a motivational lesson.

  21. Wow, it means even ones profession can’t stop misuse of substances. So disheartening seeing how much pain Angie went through, loosing that promising job got to me.

  22. For the judge that sentenced her to an outreach treatment facility, God bless you. With all the pains and suffering Angie went through, she still didn’t go for help. It really disturbing, why did she go through alot before finding help.

  23. When you have low self esteem, it affects you personal interaction with people and people tends to start using drugs to gain attention. Self love is really strong and can save someone from addiction because you have given yourself the best live you can get outside

  24. When you do not recognise yourself, it means you are deep into addiction. It is a good story to motivate others as they plan their journey of being sober.

  25. Self love is a very possible thing to achieve. This story shows that it is possible after going through challenges. Glad that she is now recovering from addiction.

  26. when you are from a broken home, the possibility of getting addicted to drugs is high…I’m sorry she went through all that but going sober is a great decision she made…thanks for sharing

  27. Let us all start loving ourself now, that’s the first step to run from all this missuse of substances just to feel belong. Though she got a second chance but believe me not all had a second chance.

  28. I too looses focus at times and put people first so much that I forget to take care of myself. Self love is a very possible thing to achieve.

  29. I agree not just self love but any love for that matter. All this talk about good stuff while on a high is nothing more than a PRETEND game. You will find yourself in more issues than solutioms.

  30. Angie’s story is quite sad and emotional having suffered at a very tender age because of her parents divorce, getting addicted and trying to commit suicide. Thank God she pulled through, Detox to rehab thank you for sharing this amazing story of recovery.

  31. Having self love is a journey that is both difficult and simple. you need to discover yourself and love it to be an overcomer.

  32. Angie already went through a whole lot from a tender age. I can understand why she might have preferred the easy route out. A detrimental route though. I’m happy she eventually pulled through above all odds. Thanks Detoxtorehab for this.

  33. Self love is very important and crucial. Angie’s story has demonstrated this because her family broken relationship has resulted in her depression. This, engaging in drug addiction has turned her into more problem. However, recovery has given her hope in life again.

  34. I bet it was hard finding self love after living all those things. This story shows that it is possible after going through challenges. Glad that she is now recovering from addiction. best of luck to her!!

  35. Self love is very possible. People should not be discouraged about the environment they found themselves. However, with self love, one can be free from such environmental factors.

  36. Thank you Detax to rehab for sharing these type of stories with all of us.These stories are really very much inspirational for many people who are addicted with something and try to recover from that.

  37. Love should be self conception and it will run to people around you which will propel them to reciprocate. This lady is a product of what she sees everyday.

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