Terra grew up believing she was going to be a model or a star. Her elders admired her and always told her she was going to do great things. Because Terra believed she was going to be so great, she thought she could do what she wanted and have no consequences. Her idea that she would have no consequences backfired and she ended up walking a bumpy road. It is by the grace of God she is alive and is two and a half years clean and sober today.
Terra was introduced to Marijuana at a young age. Her and a group of friends decided they were going to try it and she fell in love as soon as she inhaled the smoke.
“People said like if you cough more then you will get more high and I like believed all the rumors like if you drank more orange juice then like you would be more high and stuff like that,” Terra said.
Due to her Marijuana abuse she ended up not passing the 8th grade and had to go to summer school. In summer school, she was introduced to different substances such as a cough syrup called Robitussin. The cough syrup gave her a euphoric feeling she could not explain and she needed more.
Terra ended up dating someone older than her to try and get closer to drugs and alcohol but soon found out he was a “straight edge,” he did not use drugs or drink. She was trying to impress him because she liked him so she didn’t drink or use either when she was with him. Her boyfriend ended up leaving town for two weeks and she was alone to be with drugs and alcohol at last.
“When he was gone I went hard. I stole my parent’s alcohol and I would steal money for weed.”
Terra’s friends gave her a call when her boyfriend was gone and asked if she wanted to hang out. She had not hung out with her friends in a while so she was excited.
“They came over and they were like do you have $20 and I was like of course I do, you know?”
She was eager to make her friends happy and handed them her $20 as they waited for their drug dealer. They told her they were getting hash, a type of Marijuana with pure THC. Terra was ecstatic over this because she loves THC. The dealer arrived and they got the hash and were getting ready to smoke.
“So they pulled out the tinfoil and a straw and we all smoked and they were like hold it in as long as possible like you’re wasting it, you’re wasting it.”
She held it in as long as she possibly could. They get done smoking and Terra felt tired so she went home. She threw up as soon as she walked in the door and went to bed. She ended up waking up in a pile of throw up and thought it was awesome. So, she kept using that THC.
Tarra wanted all her friends to feel the high she did while smoking this amazing THC. Her friend checked the THC out before they started smoking and looked at Tarra and told her that it was not what she thought it was, it was Heroin. Even though Tarra was shocked, she did not want to stop doing it. The feeling it gave her is compared to no other. She wasn’t giving it up. Tarra ran out and had to call her dealer for more.
“And I got introduced to Meth because like the dealer ran out of Heroin one night.”
She did not want to smoke Meth in her father’s house so she went to the park while it was raining, waiting for the Heroin dealer to show up.
“All I had was my little meth pipe and I was sitting in that slide just so cold and being like at least I have you [her meth pipe] and then um it falling down the slide into the wet sand.”
As her pipe hit the sand she knew she need help, something to make her feel like a person again. She knew she was powerless over drugs and alcohol because she was thinking of smoking sand that was mixed into the pipe with the meth.
She ran home to her father and asked for help. Terra’s father acted as soon as she said “I need help” and he packed her bags. When her father was packing, Terra realized she was going to have to live without Heroin and didn’t think she could do it, so with no shoes on, she ran.
While she was running six cops picked her up and told her to settle down and that she needed help. They dropped her back off to her father and he was ready to bring her to treatment. As they were driving Terra decided she didn’t want to live without the use of drugs.
“If I am going to get sober we are all going to die and I grabbed the steering wheel and steered him in to oncoming traffic.”
Nothing happen to her dad that night but they did end up getting pulled over by highway patrol. The highway patrol men chained Terra to a poll while she was screaming, “I am a good girl. I don’t do drugs.”
They ended up putting her into the back of the cop car and her father rode with her.
“I was handcuffed and I was kicking him and they put my hand cuffs on my feet.”
The police dropped her off at a detox facility and she was admitted immediately. However, she didn’t stay for long. Terra ended up leaving the detox facility with a few guys she met to go and get high.
A few days after she left her dad found her and told her to get into the car.
“I was so hungry so I got in the car and he took me … to this treatment center.”
This treatment facility was a four-month program and Terra ended up staying for 10. She remembered trying to prove to people she was the one acceptation to the disease of addiction but ended up letting go of that idea and letting God.
“I became very willing, I surrendered a lot when I looked around me one night and realized that I had a bed, I had two pillows I had walls, a door, and windows and I had friends. It wasn’t okay to push people around and I needed that, it was the humility I needed.”
With humility came serenity. She started working a 12-step program, reaching out to others and she did not realize how much she needed that. She is now 21 and have two and a half years sober. Terra and her father have a beautiful stress free relationship today. Her life keeps getting better and better and it is all thanks to a 12-Step program.
“When I was struggling no one could tell me anything like it wasn’t really an option because I didn’t believe there were other people my age who were dealing with it. I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and there is one. For some people, it comes very quick and for some people it comes later but there definitely is one and it is a lot of fun.”