Odd Man Out
Never fitting in and not quite knowing where he belonged was a constant feeling for Miles as he was growing up.
He was different than the other kids and like children tend to do, they picked on him for it.
“I didn’t know where I fit in, being mixed raced,” Miles said.
His mother comes from a predominantly white family and his dad is African American.
“I didn’t know which side to fit in on, I didn’t know who I was as a person and I got bullied a lot.”
While he was growing up him and his mom had a lot of problems. He started running away and was gone for months at a time. For awhile he felt like his friends were more of a family to him than his actual family was.
“I realized that they [my friends] didn’t care anything about me.”
Miles started smoking Marijuana and drinking with his friends at 13. He says that while he was out with them getting drunk his mom would call him and ask him to come home but he didn’t really care. When he finally would come home he would go right into his room.
“I remember her coming in and just yelling at me ‘You’ve been drinking’ I just laid in my bed and passed out. When I woke up every poster I had on my wall everything I had hung, just everything was torn down.”
This dynamic continued until he was 18-years-old and had his son.
“I found out I was having a kid when I was incarcerated, I believe for a breaking and entering … I made a call to her just to see how she was doing and she told me she was pregnant.”
They decided to keep it, and in the back of his mind, he knew he wanted her to because he thought that having a baby would keep him on a better path. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
When he was 19 he started smoking Percocet, which led to him using Heroin.
A couple months later Miles was with one of his friends who started injecting it, Miles told his friend he wanted to try it. So his friend helped him shoot it and from then on Miles was in love.
“I didn’t care about what anybody thought, it made me hole at the time.”
Ultimatums
Miles was in danger of losing his family due to his using.
“I was going to lose everybody in my family just because of my stupid mistakes.”
He was using Cocaine and shooting Heroin, it got to the point where his siblings were afraid to be around him.
“I was on a bunch of coke and I was freaking everybody out in my house. I started hallucinating and my brothers were pretty much done with me.”
His sister thought that Miles was losing his mind, he spent $3,000 in two days and had nothing to show for it.
No one could understand his actions and they were fed up with dealing with it. His brothers and his sister told him that if he didn’t get clean they wouldn’t be a part of his life.
“That was the first time I got introduced to AA or rehab. I went out there and I was there for about two weeks, I didn’t really pay attention to anything I was just caring about doing the 30 days so my family would be happy.”
Miles was talking to his son’s mom every day and she was constantly telling him how much she missed him. He missed her and he missed his son. He convinced himself that he would be okay leaving rehab after two weeks.
“That made me [think] that I could just go home and I can just smoke weed and just drink like a normal person, I didn’t have to use needles. I kept rationalizing the decision, I needed to be home and take care of my son.”
It wasn’t even 24 hours after flying back home to Boston when he started using Heroin again. Throughout the course of him getting clean he did something he calls “Rehab Hopping.”
“I’ve gone through about 12 treatment centers … just not really giving it my all.”
On the Edge
One Christmas they all went to church as a family, Miles went to pull out his cigarettes and a bag of Heroin fell out of his pocket, right in front of his mom and siblings.
“I was just trying to come up with excuses. They pretty much made the decision that I couldn’t come back home.”
His son’s mother started keeping her purse in her car to keep it safe from him. Miles’ addiction got to the point where he took a crowbar and broke into her car to get to it.
“The whole side fender was just ruined – because I had no self-control. No self-control over myself or any of my actions.”
Miles went to work the next day, and came home to an empty house. While he was gone she packed up all of her and their son’s things and left.
He kept trying to rationalize what he did. He told her everything she wanted to hear to try to get her back, that he would get help, stay clean, he would fix it. But it didn’t work, she was just done.
He used this as an excuse to take pity on himself and continue using.
When he did go into treatment next it was in California. While he was there him and two others were planning on leaving and getting high with a friend he had in Long Beach. The rehab found out about this plan and kicked him out.
Miles met up with his friend who suggested they start selling Methamphetamines.
“We don’t have Meth on the East Coast, I had never done it in my life. It was a totally different thing.”
Miles became extremely paranoid, constantly looking out windows, convinced that the police were coming for him. It got to the extent that he felt the only way to stop it was to load too much in a syringe and overdose.
Keep Trying Your Breakthrough is Coming
Miles was on the verge of suicide when he got a phone call from a woman who had been there to help him in the past. She convinced him to let her try to help one more time.
As the driver got there to pick him up Miles was having second thoughts.
“I was about to hop in the car and I was like na I don’t think I can do this and I started walking back inside the hotel she was just like ‘miles would you please get into the car’ I gave it that shot, I got in the car and I went to treatment.”
Miles told them he would stay for 30 days and then he was going back to Boston. This time, he took his treatment seriously, and 30 days turned into 90.
“I knew 90 days couldn’t hurt and that it would just better me as a person. I did intensive outpatient for a couple of months and then I did a sober living.”
Miles knew that there was no going back for him that he wanted to put in the work to live a clean life after going to his first conference.
“Being in a room with thousands of addicts sharing the same problems you have, the same character defects, the same situations that I’ve been in, was just amazing. That experience of being with people with multiple years, 10 years even 30, 40, 50 years [clean] … I knew from then that this is what I want.”
It was there that he met his best friend, who ended up convincing him to move to Arizona. They now own their own marketing company.
“I’m so blessed to have the people in my life that are just there for me when I have a bad day. It’s a blessing to have everybody that I love dearly in my life.”
His family has come back around and are a part of his life again, the one this he doesn’t have is his son.
“I’ve tried to reach out and I totally get why she doesn’t want to take that risk with me. I do hope that soon I’ll be able to make that amends and be the father that I can be.”
Miles has a support group no matter what side of the country he’s on.
“Everybody in my life thought that I would never be able to get this that I was just done for. That I was either going to die or that I was just going to keep living this miserable life. If I can do it, if millions of other people can do it – It is possible.”
76 comments
My name is Dan nelson if you read this Miles please contact me . Im also a recovering addict and the face to this disease in my home town. Ive looked all over face book and can not find you. I have a proposal for you. Please dont over look this brotha. I Hope this message finds its way to you . 616-427-0456
Were you able to contact Miles?
Addiction is really something that has eaten deep into our society. Been bullied when not controlled make someone fine comfort in drugs doing. Thinking it will make them feel loved or better.
bullying can lead to addiction it one area we need to look into to avoid our children turning bad. I know I was bullied in high school but it never really got bad but some children are badly hit,
Bully and Addiction goes hand in hand, so these two need serious observation amongst children. it can lead to depression or most case suicide. This must be stopped on track
As I said before at the longing to belong is and can be so intoxicating that it overrides logic nor reason. I know because I felt the same way. The problem is when we channel that desire or in most cases trauma into the wrong end. In this case drugs. Anyway thanks for sharing.
Bullied children have higher tendency of doing drugs if introduced. They think it makes them find peace of mind but reverse is the case. Doing drugs isn’t a solution to any bad treat
At some point, the saying is true. Many and in most cases, bullying can lead to addiction. Some children start finding a comfort in drugs.
This story is very touching, I hope that soon you get to reconnect with your son and become a very good father.
Whenever there is life there is hope.
Child Bullying can have an adverse effect on the psychological development of a child. Parents needs to be oriented compulsorily on child upbringing.
I totally can understand why bullying can lead to addiction. I also suffered bully for many years and even I didn´t try drugs I had suicidal thoughts because I didn’t have clear my value as a person or where did I fit. Fortunately, that part of my life is in the past and I’m a new person.
I’m very happy that you were able to recover your life, Miles, I’m sure that your son needs you very much in his life.
Addiction does not just come like that. Its comes as a result of something. The act of bullying can lead to addiction of unlawful behaviors in human. Bullied children tends to live a wide and careless life.
The emotional bully that Miles encountered at school played a big role in pushing him towards drugs. We should never bully others emotionally.
I think bully and addiction go hand in hand. Once a person starts getting bullied it’s easy for them to seek an escape through addiction.
I wouldn’t wish addiction on anyone. It is such a harrowing experience for the victim.
Bullied children are at a very high risk of abusing drugs. Miles was a good example of this.
It is no lie that bullying can lead to addiction. School authorities ought to step up and curb bullying.
Nothing is worse than emotional bully. It inflicts too much suffering like it did to Miles.
Bullied children are generally created because parents are not there most of their time, also because their parents do not help them to have self-confidence, self-esteem and courage when facing problems.
As a victim of emotional bully myself I can totally understand where Miles is coming from. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Never giving up is a good progress is Recovery phase.
Wonderful article Here.
The topic of Bully and Addiction is one that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. I am glad you shed light on these sensitive topics.
Addiction is a difficult habit to kick. I would know since I was addicted once.
A special center should be opened for Bullied children. They need the support more that we could ever imagine.
I used to refute the claim that bullying can lead to addiction. However, after reading Miles’ true story, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I know because I felt the same way. The problem is when we channel that desire or in most cases trauma into the wrong end. The act of bullying can lead to addiction of unlawful behaviors in human.. thanks for sharing this blog
Bullying can leave the other party feeling frustrated and depressed and to fit in one tends to become an addict to fit into the circle. Thank God Miles saw someone who was determined to help him recover from his addiction. Detox to rehab thank you for sharing this amazing story of recovery.
I have been studying martial arts pre Covid and it helped me developed as a person. Now I am aware that each of us uses different methods to cope. One of them unfortunately is addiction. I am lucky enough to not go that route but I cannot really fully blame those who do.
Bullying is indeed an emotionally tasking thing. It can go a long way to mar a person’s self worth.
Bullying is the new trend nowadays . It’s a hard thing to face to not fit in within a populace. Anyways, reclining to drugs and alcohol is the most detrimental move to ever make. Glad Miles is better now.
Children should be taught to handle tough situations. The teaching will avoid a lot in their future.
Bullying is really bad for some kids and parshts need to help out. Train a child to be sound and stop bullying others. I can so relate with this story.
Miles didn’t know better because if he did wold have known from onset that he is complicating the issue. Bullied children really seek outlet for their troubles in diverse ways that some could be totally wrong.
I have looked all over face book and can not find you. Their parents do not help them to have self-confidence. I know because I felt the same way. Thanks
Innate in every human is the desire to be accepted, loved and appreciated. Children need these to grow into healthy and responsible adults. I am touched with the loyalty of Miles’ family. It’s an inspiring one.
Seeking comfort in drugs and alcohol is not the solution for being bullied. Children needs advice and orientation. Glad Miles got his family back after such challenges and now happy.
There are other ways to deal with challenges faced in life but not drug and alcohol. Children should desist from such substances. The case study of Miles is very pathetic but it is great to learn it and be happy for him in the end.
Yes bullying can lead to addition and it a bad way to start living. Personally I feel bullies should be arrested as it causes some kind of mental damage on it victim which can lead them to drugs abuse.
He has taken the best step. This is because if he is not repaired, that act will continue in his own life towards his children too.
Only those who have experience what is called bullying that can understand Miles. Nevertheless, seeking help to overcome it is the right step in the right direction.
Mile’s story is very inspirational and touching. There is no comfort in seeking out drugs and alcohol as it leads to life destruction for many. The best way to survive bullying for children is to give seek for advice and orientation from adults at that time.
The outcome of bullying is always pathetic. Congratulations to you for the good step taken
Miles really hurt a lot of people by his actions and going back and forth on drugs didn’t help issues either. If not for the angel God brought his way, I don’t think he would have gotten treatment at that point in time, so, he should be grateful to her.
It is an open secret that children who are constantly bullied can easily find solace in drug addiction as a means of escape. Hence, it’s crucial that there should be cordial relationship between parents and their children to avoid pushing the young ones to drug or substance abuse.
Addiction is really something that has eaten deep into our society. The topic of Bully and Addiction is one that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. It inflicts too much suffering as it did to Miles.
Miles almost lost the opportunity to recovery, just a second thought change his story. Yes it won’t be easy, but believe me it all worth it. Get into recovery and live your life again
Bulling has caused alot of addictions in our society, parents should always listen more to their wards. With that they can tell you anything and indirectly avert the misuse of substances because of how they are treated
Drugs cannot get you out from being bullied, the best is report to authorities. That’s just the best way because drugs will make tour life miserable
Like we all agree, doing drugs won’t build up your self esteem. If bullied, report to nearest authorities, that can work magic than killing yourself through drugs
Drug addiction can be promoted by so many factors in which bullying is one of them. As a result, children are forced to secretly indulge in bad habits.
When your parents didn’t show you enough parental care, always bullying you. That is enough reason to go wild, and that’s the case with miles becoming addicted through the influence of his friends.
Bullying is a very bad thing that should happen to any individual because it makes suçh person to be threatened thereby resulting in drug addiction. Consequently, parents should serve as good examples to their children.
Bullied children opted for drugs and alcohol as a means of getting over the fear. It is indeed a right step in the right direction.
I think children at a tender age needs parental care and love though I am of the opinion that corrective measure can be used whenever they go wrong which this must be carefully carried out in other to avoid stories like this. It is so sad that Miles went through all of this because he feels being bullied means hatred for him. However addiction can never be the solution to our challenges, it will become part of us and bring bad consequences at the end. Learning from this story by all will prove to be a big motivation Miles and detox to Rehab.
It’s really Great to come across Motivating stories like this.
Keep trying towards Recovery and the result will be amazing.
The Act of bullying is very wrong and unlawful. It can make the bullied go into drugs and get addicted to it. An awareness should be made about bullying
It is really sad that his addictions became so worse that even his own brothers and sisters feared him! He made the mistake of thinking that his “friends” cared more about him, even more than his family. He also got bullied and I cannot imagine what he went through. The good news is that he found the recovery program.
a lot of mixed race people don’t know how to fit in because they are neither white nor black..I really feel for Miles..getting bullied and taking marijuana at 13..I’m glad he went sober later on in life..thanks for sharing your story
Bully is one thing that parents, teachers, religious leaders should teach against. It has done more harm to the victim. Bullied individuals automatically lost self esteem. They see themselves as nothing. Something reduce them to doing drug in order to get over it and act under the influence of the drug.
Everyone should desist from bullying
This one is another hot which needed to be cover. Thanks for sharing with us. I suggest everyone , please sharing this as much possible.
Bullied must be have law,so no one can easyly talk bad that effect any body psychic
Thank you Detax to rehab for sharing these type of stories with all of us.These stories are really very much inspirational for many people who are addicted with something and try to recover from that.
I don’t understand why they are bullying. They don’t they know what effect it will have on the child when he or she grows up. This is why one turns one’s attention to drugs. Bullying should stop at all.
So amazing to hear that Miles got his life back together. The fact that he started a marketing company is so impressive and that he seeks to be a better father to his son. I wish him all the best in his path to recovery.
Addiction has worsened his life. But, glad that he understood in the end.
bullied kids looking for refuge in drugs and alcohol is a phenomenon that many countries suffer and it seems to be getting worst. I wish there were a way to help families to be better structured and affectionate, families that could set limits and express love to their members openly, I think that would help reduce the lack of affection and the need to bully others that some people seem to feel but also to be aware of the danger of drugs and alcohol
The tormenting that he received while at school had a role in his addiction. This just shows how far reaching the effects of bullying can be
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer when going through a rough time. I am glad Miles eventually realized that.
The encouraging thing is that Miles never stopped trying to get clean despite many failed attempts. That’s the mind set that we all need to adopt
If it wasn’t for God there’s no telling where Miles would be today. What happened to him is a true miracle.
I think we should have more anti bully campaigns. That way we can save a lot of children from ending up like Miles.
What Miles did wrong was succumb to peer pressure at a very young age. It happens to the best of us really.
I can’t believe he started using percocet at only 19! By then I didn’t even know what weed was.
Many bully cases around this days and it’s really getting out of hand. Thanks for sharing this with us, Detox
If left unchecked, bullying in schools can have devastating effects on the well-being of a child. This right here is a classic example of that.
A lot of what happened to Miles was as a result of peer pressure. I am pretty sure things would have turned out much different if he kept better company as a child