What It's Like Being Heroin Addicted and Hopeless | Detox to Rehab

Courtney was Heroin Addicted and Hopeless

Courtney was Heroin Addicted and Hopeless

March 15th, 2019 in True Stories of Addiction
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Courtney grew up in a small town in Alabama where her wishes weren’t to grow up and become hooked on Crack or Heroin addicted. However, a traumatic experience led her down the dark path to drug addiction where she thought she was going to die alone, depressed and hopeless.

The trauma started in Courtney’s life where she was brutally raped at just four years old. When she looks back, images of her sitting by the judge in court practicing what she was going to say to reveal the truth about her rapist still haunts her daily.

When going through something so young, you don’t understand how to cope. Which causes mental health issues that last a lifetime. These mental health issues can be things such as bi-polarism, depression and anxiety.

Trauma and Stressor Related Disorders

For Courtney, this trauma didn’t only cause her to turn to drugs and alcohol, she dealt with severe anxiety and became very codependent to men. The rape gave her severe anxiety if she wasn’t with a man at all times, no matter how abusive the relationship was.

“I knew how to lie, I knew how to get what I wanted.” Not only did Courtney believe she needed to be with a man to be happy, she also believed she needed to be on drugs to cope. She didn’t know any other way of living was possible.

At age 15, Courtney’s stepdad was suffering from many health issues where he had to go through open heart surgery. With all the surgeries her stepdad had, there were leftover pain pills she could steal to get high.

Xanax Bars and Painkillers

“They prescribed me pain medication and Xanax.” Her pain medication addiction only flourished when she was in an accident with her friends Chuck and Kate.

Courtney vividly remembers the accident. She remembers the sound of the car hitting trees and spinning out. She remembers paramedics picking pieces of glass out of her mouth and being the only one to survive that was not wearing a seat belt.

This accident didn’t only cause her physical pain, it caused emotional pain and post-traumatic stress. Her post-traumatic stress was so intense, she needed Xanax to cope with the roller coaster of emotions.

A few years after the accident, Courtney got her life together for a while and had two children. However, when they were three and four years old, she became severely addicted to Meth.

If it wasn’t for Courtney’s mother, she doesn’t know if her children would even be alive because in the moment, drugs were more important than anything. On Mother’s Day, Courtney’s mom ended up taking her kids completely away from her which sent her off the edge further than she had ever been before.

To top off her kids being taken away, Courtney’s grandma was also taken away too. Courtney drove thirteen hours to get to her grandmother’s funeral where she was arrested just before the viewing for shoplifting. It still haunts her today that she wasn’t able to see her grandma be put to rest.

Searching For Answers

“It was so dark, I was so miserable.” After the trauma of losing her kids and grandmother, Courtney and her fiancé went to Florida to get drug and alcohol treatment. Upon their arrival to Florida, the treatment they were going too didn’t exist. Which caused them to be homeless, alone and scared, while sleeping on a sidewalk and wanting help they couldn’t find.

After three weeks of being homeless in Florida with her fiancé, Courtney was done suffering. She made some phone calls and found a treatment center to go to in Alabama.

At the treatment center in Alabama, Courtney was lucky enough to be sent to treatment out in Arizona. She was relieved to leave Alabama and excited to start a new life in Arizona.

Finding Answers and A New Life

When Courtney got to Arizona, she knew she was safe. She finally felt like she could live life without drugs and alcohol. However, one thing was missing- her fiancé Brett.

After some time, Brett also made his way out to Arizona after a relapse in Alabama. Their relationship has only flourished because of their sobriety. They both learned how to love themselves and each other- sober.

Courtney’s life has only gotten better through recovery. She has learned how to live without the use of drugs and alcohol, how to cope with emotions and feels like she belongs in this world.

The thing that has helped Courtney most is the other women in the 12-step program. She believes they loved her until she could love herself. She now trusts in her higher power and prays daily to have God remove her defects of character and help her live life on life’s terms.

Courtney’s life isn’t perfect, but she knows it will never get better if she doesn’t keep going to 12-step meeting and continue working with others in the program. Courtney knows she could still be out on the streets and counts her blessings daily that she found hope in a dark place.’

Grateful for 12-Step Programs

She knows without the 12-step program, none of this would be possible- she wouldn’t be alive. She would still be out in Florida, homeless and suffering if she didn’t make the decision to live a better life for herself.

The 12-steps treatment and learning how to love life without the use of drugs saved Courtney’s life, it can save yours too. Start living and fighting against your addiction now. Contact us for resources and assistance. You too can find a way out.



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