Marijuana Abuse Causing A Mother to Lose Herself

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Nikki’s mom introduced her to weed, and her dad introduced her to speed—what followed was inevitable: a crash course collision with addiction. As with many people who fall into addiction, there was a traumatic history that catalyzed her abuse.

After Nikki was born, her mom became a heroin addict. When she was 2 years old, her mom’s boyfriend tried drowning her and Nikki was saved by her grandmother who took custody of her. For a couple years, her childhood was a fairytale with her grandmother. However, at the age of 6, Nikki’s grandmother took her to live on a weed farm in Portland with her mom, who had stopped using heroin by that time.

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From the age of 6 to 11, Nikki smoked weed every day. She met her dad around that time and she told him, without hesitation, “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are?” She didn’t see him again till she was 19. He drove a Porsche, bought her $3,000 worth of clothes, sending her off to the University of Arizona.

The Downward Spiral of Drug Abuse

Between the ages of 18 and 26, she was beaten, molested and raped while trying to earn love by doing what everybody else around her did. During this period, she had a child with a guy she met through the drug scene. She was buying weed; he was buying LSD.

“I thought I was a good mom because he had name brands. He had name brand shoes; he had toys; he had everything he could have monetarily but he just really didn’t have me.”

At one point Nikki was held up at gunpoint in a room full of people for her weed. Instead of handing the person over her stash, she and her child fled the scene with the weed, leaving the rest of the people with the gunman.

“I ran out of the house and left the five people in the house with the guy. That’s the kind of addict I was,” Nikki said.

One night, the father of Nikki’s child, her ex-husband, asked if they could meet up and get dinner to potentially restart their friendship. However, he got her blackout drunk in the middle of Youngtown, AZ. He called the cops on her and they found her in just a bikini with weed in her possession.

She was arrested and charged with two felonies and some misdemeanors. At the time, she was a teacher, and the cop told her that he wouldn’t want her teaching his kids.

“That killed me because I have taught many, many kids. Right there, I made a decision [to stop using] right there.”

Beckoning the Universe’s Call: Sobriety

After her jail time, Nikki had to start over again. She worked in the food industry, which she hated. But she started attending 12-step meetings and sought out 12-step programs.

At one point, she was working at a gas station across the street from the high school where she once taught. Her former students would come in and order burgers from her. Though it might have felt humiliating, Nikki didn’t stay down long. She kept working the program and believed she would end up back in the classroom.

One month of sorrow really helped turn her around. In April, her son left for the Air Force, and both her mom and ex-mother-in-law died.

She woke up April 27 and became, as she puts it, “conscious.” She didn’t want to drink or get stoned anymore.

In her sobriety, she has to have something to believe in. “In order for me not to get loaded, I have to believe I’m not God,” Nikki said.

As she became conscious, a lot of her old ways dissipated and were replaced with peace and connectivity to the universe. Determined to make it back in school, she decided to call for substitute teacher positions.

The same day she called in for the position, her boss yelled at her, hurling accusations that she was a bad line cook. She decided that day she would quit. She felt peace when she did. And the next morning she got a call asking if she could substitute. Since that morning, she’s taught in the same classrooms as she used to.

“My journey is amazing. I have a lot of women in my life today and I trust them,” Nikki said.

“I don’t have anger. Everything in my life today just happened. There’s nothing so significant that I have to numb my feelings. Today I pause.”

When Nikki was at her lowest, she was taking from people and herself. She was not giving. She was not connected to the universe. Now, she is the reverse of all those.

“My greatest gift in recovery is working with others and helping people,” said Nikki. She now blesses, rather than takes. Every day she overcomes addiction; every day she gives her life to the universe; every day she believes in herself.

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63 comments
  1. Hey big sister I love your story and the wonderful energy you are able to channel through helping alot of wounded women. Your a beautiful strong women in our recovery family and we need more strong leaders like you. I have only known you for a short time but have seen and heard from many women in the program that you guided and they are healing and growing because of your Incredible ability to love your Sponsees or as you say “my girls”. Keep the fire burning.

  2. Marijuana is not something that makes one be in the normal state of mind. The effect of it will surely make one loose his or her life if care is not taken. Your post will be very helpful to virtually everyone on earth. Thanks for posting.

  3. Nikki is really doing a great work. She understands the addiction effects that she went through since childhood, and thus helping others coming out of it is the biggest service to society.

  4. When Nikki was at her lowest, she was taking from people and herself. She was not giving. She was not connected to the universe. Now, she is the reverse of all those. I like that the reverse is the case now, it shows there’s progress.

  5. Showering material gift to ones kids doesn’t mean you’ve done your work as a mother, it goes far beyond that. I just wish all mothers can realise this and change their ways. God help us all

  6. This is just sad but it can be a cautionary tale. Again stay away from drugs. You may feel good temporarily but in the long term it is all bad news!!! It only adds to the issue not solve it.

  7. Any kind of addiction is certainly bad. Whatever that we are using without normalizing it will cause addiction and it will not just ruin ourselves but most especially the people around us.

  8. A mother has a major role to play in moulding up a child, either positively or negatively. Material things is important but not all thats required in raising a child.

  9. I’m glad that Nikki could change radically her life, the fact that she feels now connected to the universe gives her a sense of purpose and help her to keep far from drugs.

  10. Good for Nikki being able to turn it all around and do what she loves. Her connectivity with the universe sounds like a really strong calling for inspiration.

  11. Marijuana is like devil,so everyone please stay away from that ,if addicted as soon as get help to 12 step program,get back your life

  12. This is really sad, marijuana abuse isn’t something to joke with the effect can be really devastating. I hope others will learn from this

  13. Drugs spares no one. The only thing it knows is ruin In many ways drugs are a blessing if used properly. It is just sad that even mothers are not spared. Then again perhaps the danger lies greatly on the person rather than the drug itself???

  14. This story is very touching and emotional, a mother losing herself to drug abuse, thank God she found recovery from drug abuse. Detox to rehab thank you for sharing this amazing story of recovery

  15. Thank God for Nikki’s progressively recovery. Raising a child is more than being rich or poor. It takes a good mother and good people around to be free from addict

  16. A mother has a vital role to play in a child’s life , either the good or bad sides. Recovery takes time but your recovery is coming soon.

  17. Nikki’s childhood played a major role in her addiction and had negative effect on her. Glad she find recovery through sobriety.

  18. Nikki’s story encompasses all the ramifications and effects of going into addiction. I am glad she changed her life positively through sobriety.

  19. An amazing story and turnaround for Nikki. She really did get addicted at a tender age. She had less options though. I’m really glad she has overcome all of these struggles now though. Thanks as always Detoxtorehab.

  20. Indeed, Nikki’s mother has negatively influenced her negatively at a tender age. However, I appreciate her for seeking recovery from marijuana addiction.

  21. Marijuana abuse is an unwholesome practice. Consequently, people should desist from such habit for a healthy living.

  22. I wish parents in general will play there right role in the upbringing of there children, all of this could of been avoided if they had played there rightful roles.

  23. Addiction causes a lot and addicts get to loose the person they used to be.
    This is a Wonderful Content.
    I hope it’s get to the Right Audience.

  24. Nikki’s parents had a lot of Cause on Nikki’s Addiction Experience.
    It’s really Saddening that she was exposed to negative vibes at that Tender Age.

  25. Marijuana is a very deadly drug, the substances mixed to form it, is very harmful to the well-being of the human health. Nikki suffered as a result of her addictive life which she got introduced by her mom, later saw the need to seek rehab, which helped to bring her back to normal state of life.

  26. The effect of it will surely make one loose his or her life if care is not taken. Thanks for sharing this blog. This is very important.

  27. Amazing story… Am elated Nikki was able to pick herself up from the miry pool and gracefully find peace… Thanks Detox

  28. Thank you Detax to rehab for sharing these type of stories with all of us.These stories are really very much inspirational for many people who are addicted with something and try to recover from that

  29. There are so many other who have been charged to court due to their misbehaviour due to the influence of drug addiction. Thanks to Detox To Rehab for this information.

  30. This is another bad impact of drugs to human life. We should learn from this story and stay away from any kind of drugs, let’s keep our family safe and healthy.

  31. Drug addiction is not something easy to get out form. Parenting is a significant stage which must not be handled carelessly. Nikki really had a bad beginning. Thank God she was saved by her grandmother

  32. I have only known you for a short time but have seen and heard from many women in the program. I am really glad she has overcome all of these struggles now though.

  33. This a very harsh life for Nikki having both father and mother a drug addict and even getting a attempt of murder in such a small age is like a worse than anything but happy that she has chosen this path of rehab.

  34. There are so many other who have been charged to court due to their misbehaviour due to the influence of drug addiction. Your post will be very helpful to virtually everyone on earth. Thanks for posting.

  35. Nikki’s journey to sobriety was amazing. Despite all the challenges she faced during childhood, I am glad she could find her way out. Congratulations

  36. A crashed family I must say.
    Nikki, you are spared by God, changed by God for his purpose. May you not experience tough times again

  37. “My greatest gift in recovery is working with others and helping people,”. Very striking! righting the wrongs and offering hope to people who are now where we used to be, can be a great way to live. Nikki’s is really an inspiration.

  38. Marijuana is not a drug that anyone can toyed with. Public sensitisation must be carried out by the government agencies to curb its use.

  39. Addiction become worse when the people introducing you to drugs are even your parents. i can understand what Nikki must have been going through having this kind of parents. Good that you are sober now

  40. Nikki’s journey to sobriety was amazing. She was not connected to the universe. Now, she is the reverse of all those. Public sensitization must be carried out by the government agencies to curb its use.

  41. Wow! What a story, Nikki’s life seems doomed to be an addict right from her childhood, and she fell into the trap of addiction. However I love her determination, despite what she went through she proved to herself that she could overcome addiction.

  42. Unfortunately for Nikki, she had a challenging childhood. Substance abuse is not always the way and I am glad she realised this and got treatment.

  43. Nikki story is motivational to all those people suffering addiction, abuse. Now she turns her life and connects to the universe and helps people. What a great story.

  44. Despite having a loving family, still Devon got into a line of addiction. I see this story as a helpful guide to those who deal with a lack of self-confidence, feeling left alone. People having this issue leads to addiction because it’s the only way they can be themselves. Though you need to help yourself to overcome the temptation to do what’s wrong.

  45. We are very happy that Nikki has found the right path. Now she will start her life afresh. Thanks for sharing this blog.

  46. The growing we get to see makes us what we become eventually. Anything we use we can’t normalise or show forth openly is bad, let run

  47. Nothing good ever comes out of any form of addiction. Well it’s good seeing Nikki turn out to start doing things she loves. I wish more good ending like this

  48. I see a negative influence from birth and makes Nikki things that’s all the best she could get. Just happy of the effort she puts to see the light

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