Christopher-Michael grew up in a loving, middle-class home with wonderful parents. He wasn’t abused, neglected, or lonely. However, he lost his grandparents when he was 11, which caused him to feel as if he was separated from the world. Christopher-Michael felt he needed to be like others and he was willing to do anything to change and feel accepted.
Drugs are Bad
When Christopher-Michael was 16 he saw on television that drugs were bad and he shouldn’t do them. However, this information did not stop him from trying Marijuana. After he tried Marijuana he couldn’t stop. In no time, he was smoking weed before, during and after school. Things got so out of control he even got kicked out of school for cooking Marijuana churros in culinary class.
To celebrate getting kicked out of school Christopher-Michael went to a party, he didn’t know then but he was about to do something that would change his life forever.
Introduced to Heroin
“This kid came out of the bathroom with a piece of tinfoil with some black shit dripping off of it. I didn’t know what it was but it turns out you know like when they say Opium, it is Heroin, that was a pretty life changing event right there,” Christopher-Michael said.
Heroin took Christopher-Michael down quick. His parents put him in adolescent treatment at just 16 years old. In treatment, he was introduced to a 12-step program. He felt like he couldn’t relate to others in the meetings because his story has not gotten bad enough. So, he left the meetings and did what he knew best- get high.
After getting high for a few years Christopher-Michael needed a break from the fast life and entered a treatment program again when he was 19. Christopher-Michael was doing well and once again decided to go to a party to celebrate. This party had alcohol but he didn’t think that was an issue because alcohol wasn’t his problem- Heroin was.
“I didn’t go to rehab for alcohol, alcohol is not my thing it just happens to be here you know and he throws me a beer and so the next day I know I’m off and running again.”
Christopher-Michael went on a year run before he decided to go to treatment again. Things kept getting worse but he didn’t know how to stop. While in treatment he was detoxing off Methadone and the withdrawals were unbearable. He needed something to calm his nerves and thought Heroin would do the trick. So, in treatment he had someone bring him Heroin and he was off to using again.
There was no stopping Christopher-Michael. He was in and out of treatment, hospitalized for overdoses, and getting arrested. His life was spiraling out of control and he was drained of everything in life that was worthwhile. He was at his lowest spot living with a woman and stealing everything he could from her to pawn.
Before getting kicked out of his friend’s house, he saw an iPad. He couldn’t wait to get to the pawn shop so he could get his next fix- little did Christopher-Michael know- this was his last high.
The Last High
“Everything hurts, everything feels icky and gross, my stomach hurts, my muscles are tense and painful and sure and my head is going a million miles an hour and the next thing that pops into my mind is how am I going to kill myself today.”
Instead of killing himself he decided to change his life and he went to detox. He was willing to listen and do whatever he was told because his ideas led him to getting high. So, he went to a 12-step meeting, got a sponsor and went through the steps.
“The thing he [my sponsor] shared to me that made sense to me is he talked about shame.”
It was his sponsor’s story about shame that made him feel like he could move forward and go where he needed to in life. After the story his sponsor shared he started believing in a power greater than himself that could restore him to sanity. Because of his Higher Power he has grown so much in his sobriety. He now pays attention to his actions, acknowledges, and loves the person he has become. His life has never been better.
“Now I get to still look at everything as a challenge and as something to be able to help me grow toward the next phase whatever that looks like.”