The wrath of addiction took a hold of Jake’s life when he was 20 years old and he introduced to his best friend, Heroin. He fought for many years to get his life back and failed more than he can count. He thought he was going to die a junkie, thanks to his father and a 12-step program he is alive and living a life he never dreamed possible.
Jake grew up in an amazing home with fantastic parents. His father was a hard worker and always made sure there was food on the table for Jake and his two siblings. Jake felt like his siblings got the upper hand in life. His younger brother got whatever he wanted, his sister was the golden child, and then there was Jake, just trying to fit in.
The Safe Place
There was more to Jakes life than meets the eye. Jakes mom had a drug problem. She would make up stories about why she was always in bed and Jake never thought anything of it, until one day he saw something that changed his life forever.
“At 12 I remember picking my mom up off the floor in front of our front door and that really opened me up to what was going on and my dad finally came clean and the family like it was just our dirty little secret, you know,” Jake said.
After that Jake did not feel safe anywhere. He felt like he wasn’t safe at home because of his mom’s drug problem and he wasn’t safe at school because he was picked on a lot. He was lost and did not know what to do or where to go anymore. The only safe place he had was his grandma’s house; she was a pivotal person in his life.
Jake became depressed about his mother’s drug problem.
“I remember writing in my notebook ‘I hate my life’ and my mom reading it and her breaking down and saying like, ‘you never say that, you might not like your life at this point in time but you never say you hate it.’”
Jake felt like he was getting punished for feeling, felt like he didn’t belong at home and just wanted to go to grandma’s house, to his safe place.
Now Jake is in high school. He got on the football team and he found a new safe place but it didn’t last for long. He ended up breaking both of his bones in his leg and he couldn’t play anymore. He was once again lost and felt like he didn’t belong anywhere.
Then he found out his dad smoked Marijuana.
“My dad does it why not me.”
He got really into Marijuana and started to sell it. He was soon the guy you went to that could get you any substance you needed.
Cocaine ended up coming into play his senior year of high school and then he was introduced to pills. Pills were Jakes downfall. He could stop doing the cocaine cold-turkey but when it came to the pills he couldn’t turn away.
“[the pills] started a weekend thing and then it became like an every other day thing and then it just became an everyday thing.”
He ended up getting kicked out of his dads for coming home late with a drunk girl. So, he went back to the girl’s house and she was smoking something on foil.
“I thought it was oxy and it was Heroin. The moment I took a hit of that it changed my life.”
It did not change his life for the better. He did not know what it was like being a slave to a drug until he met his best friend, Heroin.
Jake remembered his dad’s code to the safe and ended up stealing a neckless from his step-mom that his dad got her for her birthday. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
His dad called him and told him to get home. Jake made sure he was good and twisted before he got there. He ended up telling his dad he needed help and went to treatment.
Due to the disease of addiction, Jake got high within 9 months.
Jail or Treatment
He went on a three and a half year run that landed him into prison for 10 months. The day he got out he was drinking at his mom’s house before he had to go to the halfway house. The halfway house was in his old stomping grounds and he was high by the next morning and got kicked out.
He had nowhere to go so he went to the only place he knew, the dope house. After the dope house he went on a two-week bender and showed up at his probation officers office.
He told his probation officer he was done and the officer said he can either go to jail or get treatment. Jake texted his aunt and told her he needed help and she told him to call his dad.
Jake did what his aunt told him and he called his dad and got the treatment he needed. He did 105 days in treatment and something changed. He loved himself again and figured out the root of his problems.
Jake has a sponsor, works the 12-steps, and take suggestion from other people in the 12-step fellowship.
“I stopped fighting and just started saying, ‘why not.’”
Jake is living a beautiful life he never dreamed was possible. He has his father and daughter back in his life and has never been happier.
“It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life the only thing you have to change is everything.”