Leaving Your Addiction Behind; Readjusting Perspective
Recovery Reflections: November 7th, 2016
Hello everyone! My name is Bianka. I would like to give you another warm welcome to Detox to Rehab’s Recovery Reflections. Please join us each Monday at 12:00pm PST on our Facebook page to listen to the experience, strength and hope shared by Reisto, Connor, Corey and myself.
We will live stream a reading from Narcotics Anonymous: Just for Today and Alcoholics Anonymous: Daily Reflections. We express how this reading has helped our recovery or how it has impacted us. Please join us, engage as an audience member, post questions and or leave feedback for us at 12:00pm. We thank you and hope we can inspire your recovery journey!
November 14th, 2016: Not Just Surviving
“When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. Now we are doing much more living than surviving.”
Basic Text, p. 52
“I’d be better off dead!” A familiar refrain to a practicing addict, and with good reason. All we had to look forward to was more of the same miserable existence. Our hold on life was weak at best. Our emotional decay, our spiritual demise, and the crushing awareness that nothing would ever change were constants. We had little hope and no concept of the life we were missing out on.
The resurrection of our emotions, our spirits, and our physical health takes time. The more experience we gain in living, rather than merely existing, the more we understand how precious and delightful life can be. Traveling, playing with a small child, making love, expanding our intellectual horizons, and forming relationships are among the endless activities that say, “I’m alive.” We discover so much to cherish and feel grateful to have a second chance.
If we had died in active addiction, we would have been bitterly deprived of so many of life’s joys. Each day we thank a Power greater than ourselves for another day clean and another day of life.
Just for Today: I am grateful to be alive. I will do something today to celebrate.
I am Worth it
I remember telling my family, “I would be better off dead,” like it was yesterday. Addiction is a miserable disease to endure and before I started working a 12-Step program I felt like I had nothing to offer this world. My life in active addiction was a depressing cycle of getting dope sick, looking for food and looking for a safe place to sleep. I had no hope that I would find a better life, then I started working the 12-steps and my life changed before my eyes.
Because of the 12-step fellowship I could say, “I am alive,” again and I knew I was worth living. For this reason, I thank my higher power daily for another day alive and celebrate my recovery daily by doing the next right thing. I now realize there is hope and I can do anything I put my mind too. I was given another shot at life.
I am so Grateful
“Because of my recovery it is the little things that they mentioned in this reading that are so amazing and it just proves that we do have a second chance at life,” I said.
I have a roof over my head, a safe place to rest at night and food in my belly. What more could I ask for?
I can do things today I was never able to do in my addiction. I am able to travel today; I can play with my niece and I can expand all my intellectual horizons because I chose to get clean and sober. I was given another shot at life and I couldn’t thank my Higher Power enough that I am living and well.
“I think it is cool that there are so many good things in my life that I have to stop to be able to think about,” Corey said.
I agree with Corey; I have gotten so used to having a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in that I sometimes forget how truly blessed I am. It is so awesome I can take a step back, look at my life and see how it has transformed in so many positive ways.
“It is when I think about the difference and how I feel now and all the things I have now is just such a distract change that I can’t help but be grateful for,” Connor said.
When I realize how my life has transformed I can’t be anything other than appreciative. My life has done a complete 360 and I give my thanks to my Higher Power and the 12-Step program.
NA and AA
The NA: Just for today focus living and not just surviving and the AA: Daily reflections puts attention on how to rely on intuition and inspiration. While each reading is slightly different, they share the same importance. They give me hope and guide me in the right direction. Also, it reminded me of how blessed I am to be living a life clean and sober.
November 14th, 2016: Intuition and Inspiration
“. . . . we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle.”
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 86
I invest my time in what I truly love. Step Eleven is a discipline that allows me and my Higher Power to be together, reminding me that, with God’s help, intuition and inspiration are possible. Practice of the Step brings on self-love. In a consistent attempt to improve my conscious contact with a Higher Power, I am subtly reminded of my unhealthy past, with its patterns of grandiose thinking and false feeling of omnipotence. When I ask for the power to carry out God’s will for me, I am made aware of my powerlessness. Humility and a healthy self-love are compatible, a direct result of working Step Eleven.
Daily Reflections: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection?y=2016&m=11&d=14
Step Eleven: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”
With God’s help, anything is possible. The practice of step eleven assures modesty and reminds me that I am not the one in charge- God is. So, if I am having a bad day I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and if I keep doing the next right thing I have nothing to worry about.
“I didn’t like who I was but I am okay with who I am,” Corey said.
I used to despise myself in active addiction. I became a person I didn’t even want to be around- I could not stand myself. However, through time and dedication in working a 12-step program I have changed. I have now grown to love myself and love my flaws. If I am doing my best, I am proud of who I am.
“There is a reason for all the things that happen in my life whether I realize it or not,” Corey said.
Doing my best is key. If something happens that has not gone as planned, I need to remind myself God has a plan for me. If I am doing the right thing, nothing but good will come out of it whether I realize it or not. My recovery has changed me for the better, I did not see it at first, but I am not embarrassed for my actions or who I am today. I love my life and this wouldn’t be possible without a Higher Power and a 12-Step program.