The Love of a Mother from Addiction to Recovery
My Mother, My Inspiration
If it wasn’t for my mom, I would have stopped breathing, due to substance abuse years ago. During my active drug use, my mom lived in fear and worry. I stole from her the ability to sleep through night,= and she even told me she knew the song she was going to play at my funeral. I took pieces of my mom’s heart each day I abused drugs. My own mother watched me destroy my life; the life she spent so much time trying to repair.
I have struggled with drugs and alcohol for the majority of my life. I tried to stop using many times, but I did not think I was worthy of living a life of happiness and serenity. I thought I was of the hopeless variety. I would say to myself, “You don’t deserve to be happy, you are a junkie. What is the point of trying to stop again? You have nothing to offer this world or your family so why waste their time trying.”
I took those thoughts to heart and made them reality, I wouldn’t put down the needle.
Mothers Believe What Others Think is Impossible
Everyone I loved most lost hope, gave up, and thought they for sure lost me to drugs and alcohol. However, there was one person who knew in her heart I would eventually come home, and that person is my Mom – my hero.
How did my mother help me in my recovery? She loved me until I could love myself.
I was not the easiest child to deal with growing up, I had a lot of emotional problems. I was always wondering when dad was coming home and what I did to make him not love me. Consequently, my mom made me go through therapy. She would always go over the top just to see her daughter smile, and still does.
My mother has worked so hard and has made many sacrifices – just to watch me succeed in my recovery. My drug use got to the point where most of my family wanted nothing to do with me. There was not one person, besides my mother, willing to take away from their life to watch me succeed in mine.
A Mother’s Love in Recovery
I love my mom; she is the security blanket in my recovery. No matter how her day went or how hard she worked, she never hesitates to listen. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, have a thought of using, or simply just had a bad day, she is right next to me comforting me and reassuring that everything is going to be just fine.
Without the support and love my mother gives, I wouldn’t be living a sober and happy life. My mom helped me understand the importance of creating a sober life worth living. Above all, she helped me have faith in myself, make me believe I can do the impossible and stay on the road of recovery. Others would tell me I have no chance of staying sober, my mother made me see otherwise. And she did all of this with a twinkle in her eye, a smile, and love in her heart. Without my mom, I wouldn’t be alive.
I am blessed to have a mother that has helped me rebuild my life, a life I can say I actually love.