Are you frustrated that your loved one has refused to get any form of addiction help? In spite of your best efforts to seek help for your loved one, it does not always go well. This does not mean you have to give up though. If these shoes fit right now, then you can still be there for them and perhaps get them addiction help eventually.
Are You the Best Person?
This may be a bit hard to digest, but you are probably not the best person to be handling this. It is possible that your loved one does not think you are the best person to open up to. When help is turned down, step back and ask whether you are the best person to provide it.
Your relationship maybe a little too formal, you could be using the wrong approach, or they might feel judged. When this happens, approach someone else they could easily open up to or trust. You could also approach a professional so that there are less personal feelings attached to it such as guilt or judgment.
Accept that this is not to mean that they do not love or appreciate you. It also doesn’t matter if you are not the one providing the help. The bottom line is for them to get help.
Set Boundaries
One of the commonly employed tactics by people suffering from addiction is to blackmail their loved ones into accommodating their behavior. When a person turns down addiction help, he will get everyone’s attention. This is a perfect time to make demands such as asking for money, getting a loved one back or justifying abusive or negative behavior.
When a loved one turns down treatment, make it clear that you can only relate to them well if they accept to get help. Show them the benefits of getting help. Also, show the consequences of not agreeing to treatment. Consider these boundaries as a form of tough love.
Boundaries are important for the victim and for you. It will help them express themselves and make them understand the effects of neglecting help. They may be finding it difficult to cope with some of the issues or sessions. If this is the case, they need to say it.
Remind Them That it is an Illness
Some people deny help because they avoid burdening their loved ones. Feelings of guilt and shame can make the person feel undeserving of all the efforts and care offered to them. To ease the burden, they may attempt to push everyone away.
Remind your loved one that a mental health issue whether from addiction or after trauma is an illness. No one chooses to be sick. A disease should be treated professionally and not left to get worse. Remind them to take care of the physical results of the illness and address the emotional aspects later. Assure them that everyone is addressing the problem as a disease and not a choice.
Think About an Intervention
When push has come to shove, and you feel that your loved one is continually at risk, consider staging an intervention. Approach a professional and work with them on how to have a successful intervention.
This approach could make him or her see how the addiction problem is affecting other loved ones. It will also be clear on the consequences of going on without treatment. If the loved one has not been responsive to you, consider bringing other close people to stage the intervention. It could be a professional, someone that has successfully recovered from addiction or a spiritual leader.
Be very deliberate with the selection of the panel. Formulate the goals of the intervention early enough, have a treatment plan in place, and be clear about the consequences of not starting treatment. Get emotions out of the way, but adhere to respectful language all the way.
Change Your Approach to Addiction Help
When talking and convincing fails, or when they decide to pull out of a treatment plan, consider other options. It is possible that they are unable to cope with the plan. Try a support group or a group therapy if medication is not working. Move from an outpatient program to an inpatient one to see if it works better.
You can also change from a detox program to an integrated regime to help them see the difference and feel better. It is possible that the loved one is not receptive to the approach, and is open to other options.
If you are using incentives or emotional appeal to convince them, you can try a more strict and result-based approach. The reverse is also true. So before calling it quits, try to move from one approach to another and see what works.
Make Treatment More Accessible
How accessible is the treatment to your loved one? It is not just about physical accessibility. Think about the comfort during the process and interactions during counseling. It could also be interference from other factors. For instance, it is possible the person is continually exposed to the same environment and risk factors. This can make the struggle to push forward with treatment even harder.
In some instances, the treatment is so rigorous yet the patient is on an outpatient program. The treatment may require self-administration yet it is overburdening the patient. It could be so many issues surrounding the accessibility. Investigate for yourself, and then decide.
Take it Easy!
They say humor is the antidote for anger and frustrations. It does help sometimes to get through hard times. You know your loved one best—what makes them happy? What hits their soft spot? What do they like? Relax around them and use their charming points to get them to accept treatment. It gives them hope. Always use kind words and light up your face in spite of the emotional turmoil you are undergoing yourself.
When people turn down addiction help, it is not always about them or you. It could be the issues surrounding the treatment. The nature of addiction also comes with intense feelings of guilt and shame. Sometimes discussing it with a loved one may trigger all these emotions. In other days, it gets the better part of them. When this happens, try a different approach – a treatment or the contact person. If you need professional help, contact us for help.
