Addiction Help for Loved One That Doesn’t Want It

addiction help for a loved one

Are you frustrated that your loved one has refused to get any form of addiction help? In spite of your best efforts to seek help for your loved one, it does not always go well. This does not mean you have to give up though. If these shoes fit right now, then you can still be there for them and perhaps get them addiction help eventually.

Are You the Best Person?

This may be a bit hard to digest, but you are probably not the best person to be handling this. It is possible that your loved one does not think you are the best person to open up to. When help is turned down, step back and ask whether you are the best person to provide it.

Your relationship maybe a little too formal, you could be using the wrong approach, or they might feel judged. When this happens, approach someone else they could easily open up to or trust. You could also approach a professional so that there are less personal feelings attached to it such as guilt or judgment.

Accept that this is not to mean that they do not love or appreciate you. It also doesn’t matter if you are not the one providing the help. The bottom line is for them to get help.

Set Boundaries

One of the commonly employed tactics by people suffering from addiction is to blackmail their loved ones into accommodating their behavior. When a person turns down addiction help, he will get everyone’s attention. This is a perfect time to make demands such as asking for money, getting a loved one back or justifying abusive or negative behavior.

When a loved one turns down treatment, make it clear that you can only relate to them well if they accept to get help. Show them the benefits of getting help. Also, show the consequences of not agreeing to treatment. Consider these boundaries as a form of tough love.

Boundaries are important for the victim and for you. It will help them express themselves and make them understand the effects of neglecting help. They may be finding it difficult to cope with some of the issues or sessions. If this is the case, they need to say it.

Remind Them That it is an Illness

Some people deny help because they avoid burdening their loved ones. Feelings of guilt and shame can make the person feel undeserving of all the efforts and care offered to them. To ease the burden, they may attempt to push everyone away.

Remind your loved one that a mental health issue whether from addiction or after trauma is an illness. No one chooses to be sick. A disease should be treated professionally and not left to get worse. Remind them to take care of the physical results of the illness and address the emotional aspects later. Assure them that everyone is addressing the problem as a disease and not a choice.

Think About an Intervention

When push has come to shove, and you feel that your loved one is continually at risk, consider staging an intervention. Approach a professional and work with them on how to have a successful intervention.

This approach could make him or her see how the addiction problem is affecting other loved ones. It will also be clear on the consequences of going on without treatment. If the loved one has not been responsive to you, consider bringing other close people to stage the intervention. It could be a professional, someone that has successfully recovered from addiction or a spiritual leader.

Be very deliberate with the selection of the panel. Formulate the goals of the intervention early enough, have a treatment plan in place, and be clear about the consequences of not starting treatment. Get emotions out of the way, but adhere to respectful language all the way.

Change Your Approach to Addiction Help

When talking and convincing fails, or when they decide to pull out of a treatment plan, consider other options. It is possible that they are unable to cope with the plan. Try a support group or a group therapy if medication is not working. Move from an outpatient program to an inpatient one to see if it works better.

You can also change from a detox program to an integrated regime to help them see the difference and feel better. It is possible that the loved one is not receptive to the approach, and is open to other options.

If you are using incentives or emotional appeal to convince them, you can try a more strict and result-based approach. The reverse is also true. So before calling it quits, try to move from one approach to another and see what works.

Make Treatment More Accessible

How accessible is the treatment to your loved one? It is not just about physical accessibility. Think about the comfort during the process and interactions during counseling. It could also be interference from other factors. For instance, it is possible the person is continually exposed to the same environment and risk factors. This can make the struggle to push forward with treatment even harder.

In some instances, the treatment is so rigorous yet the patient is on an outpatient program. The treatment may require self-administration yet it is overburdening the patient. It could be so many issues surrounding the accessibility. Investigate for yourself, and then decide.

Take it Easy!

They say humor is the antidote for anger and frustrations. It does help sometimes to get through hard times. You know your loved one best—what makes them happy? What hits their soft spot? What do they like? Relax around them and use their charming points to get them to accept treatment. It gives them hope. Always use kind words and light up your face in spite of the emotional turmoil you are undergoing yourself.

When people turn down addiction help, it is not always about them or you. It could be the issues surrounding the treatment. The nature of addiction also comes with intense feelings of guilt and shame. Sometimes discussing it with a loved one may trigger all these emotions. In other days, it gets the better part of them. When this happens, try a different approach – a treatment or the contact person. If you need professional help, contact us for help.


  1. I know it’s so hard for people to do an intervention cause it’s like they don’t want their drug addicted loved one to turn on them forever…

  2. That refusal for help is something we can relate to. After all no body wants o be a burden let alone admit that we were wrong. However no matter how much I relate to this when it comes to addiction intervention is a must. One of the few instances where yough love is required.

  3. It’s really hard to see your loved one sink into addiction, It really hurts. One should never give up trying to provide solution to the ‘illness’

  4. This is a well structured and articulated write-up. It’s well detailed and comprehensive. Perfect solutions are highlighted

  5. This happens because of the influence of alcohol. When you are sane, you would have been able to differentiate.

  6. This happens because of the influence of alcohol. When you are sane, you would have been able to differentiate. Thanks.

  7. Yeah I totally agree with this post. I have seen such a real event , one of my friend get addicted when his parents died in accident . Despite of being brilliant person he is fighting for his life. May god give him strength .

  8. It’s right time we let those into drug addicts know that their into darkness and try to bring them to the light and life outside recovery. Thanks for sharing this information here.

  9. Thank you so much for these information. People tend to love what they supposed not to due to the influence of alcohol.

  10. Definitely they are some people that don’t this help but we can still subtly help. it is to change the approach and still push to help

  11. Yeah this is not easy,need belief of yourself that you want exit from this addict and leaved you loved addict

  12. This is a great information that educate people against addiction. Thanks to Detox To Rehab for their commitment to recovery of people from addiction.

  13. One is unconscious to some things when you are addicted. And as a result, it helps to love someone that does want it. Thank you.

  14. In some cases it doesn’t help,because addiction is very detrimental and causes havoc to the body. So addiction doesn’t help those we love.

  15. Addiction is very challenging for those who are victim of it. The best we can do as loved one is to discourage them and advise them not to go into addiction.

  16. There are some addicted person that doesn’t want it but just found themselves in such a situation. But they don’t want it.

  17. This is an eye opener on how to help an addictive loved one. I am sure that by following all these steps it would be easy to help them.

  18. Do not get frustrated when trying to help your loved ones who are into addiction. Apply wisdom and intelligence in dealing with them and their challenges.

  19. This is a well written Article.
    In Recovering from Addiction, environment is one important factor which will aid the recovery Process and Intervention can be somewhat Helpful.

  20. Intervention is Really Helpful in getting someone who is Addicted Recover.
    It can bring about a change of Heart in that Person.

  21. This can only be the best intervention technique ever. Really well said. I can liken most of these to some scenes in Euphoria already.

  22. I am just wondering, why would someone want to refuse help, when really he needs the help. Well, persistence is key though.

  23. It takes wisdom to handle a loved one who is an addict. The best thing to is just to hand them to the professionals who can really take care of them.

  24. This article is highly informative and educative. It helps people on how to avoid or treat drug addiction.

  25. Drug addiction information goes a long way in equipping people about the pros and cons of addiction. People should desist from any form of addiction for a healthy living.

  26. To give assistance to an addict who does not want it requires patience. Counseling services that will make the person to see reasons for the assistance towards his or her recovery. Thanks for this write up.

  27. Varieties is the spice of life, it is always good to change the approach to addiction help. if one isn’t working or isn’t giving you the right answer, the best bet will be to adopt a different one

  28. This piece is so on the money and very well written. I agree that setting boundaries is essential for those struggling with addiction, especially if you are not a qualified addiction counselor. Keeping their spirits up with humor and social activities is also very key, as well as reminding them that they are loved and that you care for them. Thanks for sharing.

  29. This was really helpful, most people are afraid of telling others about their addiction problems. Staging an intervention for such people would be the best idea for them to be sober. Detox to rehab thanks for sharing this amazing information.

  30. We can all relate to the resistance to accepting aid. After all, no one likes to be a burden, much less confess that they were mistaken. However, no matter how much I connect to this, intervention is a requirement in the case of addiction. One of the rare times when you need tough love.

  31. I am of the opinion that if the problem is at its earliest stages, the people closest to those who are addicted are the ones who could help them the greatest, like giving support and care as the addict tries to correct his or her addiction.

    However, this is not always the case. If it is at the point that the addict is already refusing to acknowledge that he or she has a problem and it is getting worse, a professional intervention is better. It is even better if everyone (addict, loved ones, and professionals) is on the same page, that they agree on what to do, and how to overcome it, as it really goes a long, long way.

  32. Correct, we should sit back and ask ourselves this sort of question, if we are right to get our loved ones out of addiction. When we tried many times to change an addicted one, and failed, we shouldn’t push to hard, rather diverse a means to make it work next time out.

  33. I just hope that everyone will their part in helping those in need. Sometimes we tend to disregard those people for our own benefit and safety.

  34. This is a great post that educates most of the people against addiction. Addiction of anything is injurious to health.

  35. Thanks for the awesome article. I totally agree that one needs to be tender when handling addicts. Also when advising them about rehab. Currently going through something similar right now.

    1. I’m very careful in talking about those that are addicted to a particular thing. It’s not easy out there these days

  36. No assistance rendered to an addicted person is a waste. The issue is one must do it in moderation so that one will not be a victim.

  37. This is really a good approach to help loved ones overcome addiction. Thanks to detox to rehab for sharing this piece

  38. One thing I’ll like to add is to be prayerful.
    Put them in prayer while offering all the help, it works. Love them more regardless of our they push you away. Addicted fellows doesn’t want to quit until they see the need for it. The need could come internally or externally.

  39. This post would be very helpful for anyone for intervention. It would be helpful for people in addiction specially.

  40. I quite agree with the writer. I had the same problem when trying to help someone battling addiction. My effort didn’t pay off. I later realised that I’m not the best person to handle the problem. I had to seek professional help for him and it paid off. So, there are times that we just have to accept that we are not the best person to help them and get them a professional help.

  41. Thanks Detox to Rehab for this important tips. In my experience, I have discovered that usually while the intention is sincere, the approach employed in rendering the help is often faulty.

  42. It is really hard to help someone who does not want to help himself. The first step to recovery is to understand that you have a problem and then build a rock solid will in order to stop that problem. You must seek help of Allah Almighty all the time, but Allah helps those who want to help themselves. You must understand and recognise the problem of addiction yourself before you seek out solutions.

  43. Thank you Detax to rehab for sharing these type of stories with all of us.These stories are really very much inspirational for many people who are addicted with something and try to recover from that.

  44. Thank you so much for the helpful and informative article! Helping a loved one get through is hard but worth it in the end. We as their family should never give up on them especially when they want to help themselves. Good luck to those people that are in the process of changing!

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