I Neglected My Loving Family for Drugs
Paul was raised as a Mormon in Mesa, Arizona. He was not raised around drugs or alcohol because it was against their religion. He was raised with everything any kid could ever want. He started to be molested at a very early age. This caused him to always question his sexuality. As a teenager, Paul enjoyed skateboarding and partying.
In counseling, Paul found out that his mother had multiple personality disorder. His mother had several different personalities. There was one that was 20, one that was his mom, one that would drive, and one that hated men.
Paul and his dad had to deal with the grunt of the personality that hated men, Lynn. At 14, Paul started to run away to try to get away from his mother. Paul started to use weed regularly because it helped him to feel as though he could escape from the life he was living.
Eventually, he decided that he liked the way that weed made him feel so much, that he wanted to see how other drugs would make him feel. This is when he started to use harder drugs.
By 15 years old, Paul started shooting up meth and did them for many years. He ended up getting in trouble multiple times and going in and out of juvenile hall. He was committed to Adobe Mountain.
He was released after six months and started going to different rehab facilities. The facilities weren’t able to have the impact on him that was intended, though because he wasn’t ready to get clean.
Using Drugs as the Ultimate Escape
Paul didn’t think that he had a problem with drugs and alcohol and thus wasn’t able to get clean. He thought that as long as he was feeling good there was no reason to not do it. Paul thought that the problem was with everyone else, not with him.
He wanted everyone to leave him alone so he could live his life the way he wanted to live it. He started using any and every drug that he could get his hands on as a way to escape from his reality.
He spent most of his teenage years running and getting high. After being released from Adobe, he stopped doing meth and turned to other drugs to get his fix. He was going to raves and doing ecstasy, acid and ketamine.
He was able to hold down two jobs and get off of probation during this time.
Paul realized that he wasn’t getting into as much trouble when he wasn’t using meth. He realized that he had been doing illegal things as a way to get money to buy meth. He was able to get his life on track for the most part.
Paul started dating a girl who introduced him to prescription pills. He thought that they would be a lesser evil than the other drugs that he had been doing. He ended up becoming addicted to the pills and started doing them more and more. This led to him losing both of his jobs and start doing illegal activities again.
The Worst Parts of Paul’s Addiction
Paul eventually found that his prescription pill addiction was too pricy for him to maintain. Instead of continuing with his pill use, he turned to heroin to get his fix. It was far more affordably and very readily available to him. Within a few months, he started shooting up heroin.
He rented an apartment through the Cartel and started delivering drugs for him. The dealer introduced him to crack and that’s when life took a huge turn for the worst. He was so deep in the throes of addiction that he didn’t even want to live anymore.
He contacted his parents and let them know how bad his addiction was. They found the best rehab facility available and paid for him to go to the treatment center. He was so deep in his addiction that he didn’t want to go. He thought if he separated himself from the company he was keeping, he could get clean.
He moved to Chicago to try to get clean. Dope was even easier to get once he moved. He was only clean for less than a year before he was deep into addiction again. He started doing a lot of illegal activities and taking advantage of his dad in every way possible. His parents had enough and eventually he was kicked out of his apartment. On September 29, 2010, he decided to go to a detox facility because he had no way to get high again. He didn’t want to get sick so he figured that was his best option.
Paul Finds Recovery
When he finally went to the detox facility, he was determined that he didn’t want to go through withdrawals. He went in with the intention of using again in the future, but just didn’t want to feel the withdrawal symptoms that come with detoxing. He met someone working in the facility who introduced him to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Someone in the meeting told him that he should try rehab. Paul said he had tried many times with no success. The man told him perhaps he should just take a break. He decided to take the man’s advice and went to the Salvation Army and got a sponsor who had been through similar events.
For four and a half years, Paul went to a meeting every day. He worked the steps, made his amends and had his life back on track. He started dating a girl who had a medical marijuana card. His fifth year into sobriety, he started cutting back on his meetings.
He eventually got his own medical marijuana card and started smoking again. He then started to dabble in other drugs and found that he had given up on everything good and fell back into doing heroin again.
He ended up relapsing for almost nine months. After five days of detoxing, he came home to his fiancé’s parents and his parents holding an intervention. The wedding was canceled, and he had to start over again.
This caused him to earnestly start his road to sobriety. After getting a sponsor and working the steps, Paul was able to get and stay away from drugs. In treatment, Paul rebuilt his life and was able to get everything back on track. Today Paul is a strong man who has great compassion for those who are still suffering from addiction. In the end, Paul made it through.