Recovery Reflections: June 21, 2017
Hello everyone! My name is Bianka. I would like to give you another warm welcome to Detox to Rehab’s Recovery Reflections. Please join us and listen to the experience, strength and hope shared by Megan, Brandon, and Madison.
We will pre-record readings from Alcoholics Anonymous: Daily Reflections. We express how this reading has helped our recovery or how it has impacted us. We thank you and hope we can inspire your recovery journey!
Alcoholics Anonymous
June 21, 2017: Fear and Faith
The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other condition of insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion – well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.
As Bill Sees It, p. 263
Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I’m experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith–and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free.
Living in Fear
“Fear is always the primary emotion,” Brandon said.
When I was abusing Heroin and other drugs, I was living in nothing but fear. I would act all high and mighty like nothing could get to me, but in all reality, it was a front so no one saw my true emotions. I was afraid of things like rejection, success and change. I was afraid of who I had become and was afraid there was no coming back from what I have made of my life. The fear of change caused me to become homeless, alone and numb to the pain I was feeling. However, it took a few years, but I finally opened my eyes and thought maybe there is something I can do to change, because I am tired of the way I am living.
“I was tired of living in that fear,” Megan said.
I couldn’t change on my own because the fear was holding me back, but God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself, and I got arrested. The moment I got arrested, it felt like my life was over. However, I now realize, it was just the beginning of my new life in recovery. Although I was afraid of going to jail, after some time, the fear of change started to diminish and I was ready to change my life.
I was raised in a sober home where my dad has 34 years clean and sober. He introduced me to the 12-step program a few years prior to when I got arrested, because that is what saved his life. I remembered the basics of the 12-step program and did what I could while in jail to change my life. I understood, through the 12-step program, in order to live in faith, I must give all my fear to a Higher Power that I call God.
Recovery from Fear
“I’m not living in faith when there is any fear present,” Megan.
I had to replace living in fear with living in faith. The 12-step program has taught me that if I am living in self-will, which got me high, I am not going to be able to live a life of recovery. I must live in the will of my Higher Power because my self-will causes me nothing but harm. I won’t be able to live in faith if I am afraid of life how I was when I was getting loaded. I need to trust that my Higher Power, my God, has my back.
“If I have faith, I am okay,” Madison said.
When I take my self-will back and stop living my life how my Higher Power wants me too, I am not going to be okay and there is a high chance I can suffer a relapse if I don’t change my ways. If I am living in self-will, I am ultimately living in fear and fear does nothing for me. I need faith to live my life to be the person I want to be. Now that I have faith, I am okay with being rejected, succeeding and changing for the better if needed. I am a confident person that understands nothing can go wrong if I am living life in God’s will. This doesn’t mean things are always perfect; there are still times things don’t go the way I wanted them too but I now understand it is all for a reason that will surface in the future.
“I don’t live in fear today but it is a direct result of working the 12-step program,” Brandon said.
Sometimes fear crops up in my life and I have the tools today to get back to a right state of mind. If it was not for the 12-step program, I would still be getting high and living in total fear of life. I am forever grateful for the 12-step program introducing me to my Higher Power, because without it I wouldn’t have the life and be the person I am today. For the first time in many years, I love myself and can help other people who were in my position love themselves too.
If you are struggling with drugs and alcohol, there is a bigger problem that needs to be faced. It is possible fear is holding you back from change how it was for me. If you watched the video above or read this blog and felt the slightest desire to change, give us a call. We can help you figure out what treatment would be best for your recovery. Our number is: (866) 578-7471
