Coping with Anger in Recovery
Recovery Reflections: June 28, 2017
Salutations everyone! My name is Christian, and I would like to give you all another warm welcome to Detox to Rehab’s Recovery Reflections. Please join us and listen to the experience, strength and hope shared today by Megan and Madison.
We will pre-record readings from Alcoholics Anonymous: Daily Reflections. We express how this reading has helped our recovery or how it has impacted us. We thank you and hope we can inspire your recovery journey.
June 28, 2017: Coping with Anger
Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These “dry benders’ often led straight to the bottle.
As Bill Sees It, p. 179
Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven argument, sulking, and silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.
12 & 12 p. 90-91
Holding onto Anger in Recovery
“Everything that you just read, is like the center of my life,” Madison said, “To me, there is no such thing as justified or unjustified anger. If you choose to be angry, have at it.”
There is a difference between burying anger and deciding not to be angry, and that difference is the grudge. Trying to suppress your emotions only ever adds stress to our ever-complicated lives. Stress is not something that is needed, but understanding what makes you upset and angry is a crucial step in understanding about letting things go.
Ever present are we angry at ourselves, never letting go of that frustration is the basis of learning how to forgive and forget. Holding on to a grudge against someone, even if it is yourself, can do more harm than good.
“Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?” Megan said.
It’s a phrase that can often sound inflammatory to anyone who listens to it. Arguing your point, being right and knowing that you are in the clear is what makes us happy as human beings. Nothing in this life feels better than being right. Or so we are led to believe.
Having to be right all the time can make someone falsely believe that he or she knows the best for everything. That’s where the discrepancy of happiness and anger lies: in the need to be right.
Understanding that difference is important in knowing that there is more to life than stroking one’s own ego. But by refusing to acknowledge that need to be right, and arguing against all other ideas and beliefs, that is where the anger can surface, and where life can be wasted.
Letting Go and being Normal
“It’s like a power struggle, all the time, and they don’t understand what things are coming from,” Madison said.
The world itself can be a happier place if people were to learn how to let go of all the bad thoughts. Holding on to things can lead to anger, which, in turn, can lead someone to dark paths, ones that are difficult to come out of. Acknowledging that there is work to be done is hard to do, which is why it’s difficult to make the world a happier place: everyone wants to hold on and not do the work.
Megan explained, “I do know that this program has saved my life, and it’s the closes thing to normal that I’ve ever had.”
To seek normality is not to seek the mundane. Understanding that people are unique is key to understanding that you yourself are unique as well. Finding out what works for you live a relatively normal life is something that needs to be discovered for the individual to overcome the maladies of life.
If you are struggling with drugs and alcohol, there is a bigger problem that needs to be faced, and we are ready to help. If you watched the video above or read this blog and felt the slightest desire to change, give us a call. We can help you figure out what treatment would be best for your recovery. Our number is: (866) 578-7471