5 Top Coping Skills in Recovery from Addiction
Hello everyone! My name is Bianka. I would like to give you another warm welcome to Detox to Rehab’s Recovery Reflections. Please join us each Monday at 12pm PST on our Facebook page to listen to the experience, strength and hope shared by Reisto, Connor, Corey and myself.
We will live stream a reading from Narcotics Anonymous: Just for Today and Alcoholics Anonymous: Daily Reflections. We express how this reading has helped our recovery or how it has impacted us. Please join us, engage as an audience member, post questions and or leave feedback for us at 12pm PST. We thank you and hope we can inspire your recovery journey!
December 19th, 2016: Walking the Way We Talk
“Words mean nothing until we put them into action.” -Basic Text pg. 56
The Twelfth Step reminds us “to practice these principles in all our affairs.” In NA, we see living examples of this suggestion all around us. The more experienced members, who seem to have an aura of peace surrounding them, demonstrate the rewards of applying this bit of wisdom in their lives.
To receive the rewards of the Twelfth Step, it is vital that we practice the spiritual principles of recovery even when no one is looking. If we talk about recovery at meetings but continue to live as we did in active addiction, our fellow members may suspect that we are doing nothing more than quoting bumper stickers.
What we pass on to newer members comes more from how we live than what we say. If we advise someone to “turn it over” without having experienced the miracle of the Third Step, chances are the message will fail to reach the ears of the newcomer for whom it’s intended. On the other hand, if we “walk what we talk” and share our genuine experience in recovery, the message will surely be evident to all.
Just for today: I will practice the principles of recovery, even when I’m the only one who knows.
Practicing the Principles in all your Affairs
12th Step: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Practicing honesty, open mindedness and willingness is something you need to do always- not just in a meeting or when fellowshipping with friends from the 12-step program. We need to practice these principles because it reflects you as a person and you need to be an example, a positive example, to new people walking into the 12-step rooms.
“It can affect your sobriety. It is important to live the way you speak,” I said.
When you are not practicing these principles, being dishonest, close minded and unwilling it will reflect the person you are. It is our job as people in a 12-step fellowship to be an example to others. If you speak like you are an honest person but you are really a dishonest person, that will show a newcomer it is okay and this 12-step fellowship is fake- when it is not.
“I was trying so hard to lead this double life,” Corey said.
When Corey was in active addiction he remembers living dishonestly while trying to prove to people he was honest. We can’t blame him for his actions because he was getting high. However, he is a different person than he was in active addiction and today is a living example of what the 12-step program can do for an individual.
“Eventually those lies will cave in on me,” Corey said.
If Corey was to keep living the same way he was living in active addiction the lies would have eventually caught up with him and the only way he would be able to deal with them is to get high. Therefore, it is important to take the steps and the principals seriously if you want to stay clean and sober.
“I saw people talk about it and not do it,” Connor said.
For Connor, he paid attention to others and their 12-step program. He learned from people who were saying they were living one way and really living the opposite of what they said. It was important for him, which it should be to all of us, that you chose a crowd of individuals that you want to be like. You need to stick with the winners and learn from them. Walk their path- not the path of an individual who is living in dishonesty.
To recover fully we need to emulate the way others are living. If you want to live the way the program suggests look for individuals who live the way they say they are not for the individuals who are living in dishonesty.
NA and AA
The NA: Just for Today focuses on living an honest life while the AA: Daily reflections puts attention on understanding the disease of addiction. While each reading is somewhat different, they share the same importance. They give me hope and guide me in the right direction. Also, it reminded me of how blessed I am to be living a life clean and sober.
December 19th, 2016: Understanding the Malady
When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising.
– Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 139
Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, toward a person who cannot make it in A.A. When I feel that way, I am satisfying my false sense of superiority and I must remember, but for the grace of God, there go I.
Daily Reflections: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection?y=2016&m=12&d=19
We are addicts and alcoholics, we should be able to understand the disease of addiction, however, it is easy to forget where we came from. This makes it easy for us to feel anger or build a resentment to someone who can’t stop relapsing or won’t do what is suggested of them.
“I don’t play the tape through and be like you know I was there before and I know how it is,” I said.
When I don’t play the tape through, take a step back, and remember where I came from I am limiting myself to helping others.
“It is really east for me to forget how hard it was for me in the beginning,” Corey said.
Just like me Corey has a hard time remembering where he came from.
“I forget I had to have those experiences to have those lessons,” Corey said.
What we end up remembering is that it takes time to achieve recovery. You need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. That give you no excuse to not do your best though. What we need to do is have other people learn from our mistakes and meet them where they are at. So, we can help them and love them till they can love themselves.
Life in recovery is a beautiful experience. We need to cherish it and so the best we can every day. We only have 24 hours to live by and need to live them like it is our last. If we keep doing the next right thing and helping others when they are in need we will be on our way to a life in recovery.
Keep coming back it works if you work it.