Hello everyone! My name is Bianka. I would like to give you another warm welcome to Detox to Rehab’s Recovery Reflections. Please join us each Monday at 12:00pm PST on our Facebook page to listen to the experience, strength and hope shared by Reisto, Connor, Corey and myself.
We will live stream a reading from Narcotics Anonymous: Just for Today and Alcoholics Anonymous: Daily Reflections. We express how this reading has helped our recovery or how it has impacted us. Please join us, engage as an audience member, post questions and or leave feedback for us at 12:00pm PST. We thank you and hope we can inspire your recovery journey!
November 21st, 2016: Letting Our Defects Go
“If [character defects] contributed to our health and happiness, we would not have come to such a state of desperation.”
Basic Text pg. 34
Getting started on the Sixth and Seventh Steps isn’t always easy. We may feel as though we have so much wrong with us that we are totally defective. We might feel like hiding under a rock. Under no circumstance would we want our fellow addicts to know about our inadequacies.
We will probably go through a time of examining everything we say and do in order to identify our character defects and make sure we suppress them. We may look back at one particular day, cringing at what we’re certain is the most embarrassing thing we’ve ever said. We become determined to be rid of these horrible traits at all costs. But nowhere in the Sixth or Seventh Steps does it say we can learn to control our defects of character. In fact, the more attention we focus on them, the more firmly entrenched they will become in our lives. It takes humility to recognize that we can’t control our defects any more than we can control our addiction. We can’t remove our own defects; we can only ask a loving God to remove them.
Letting go of something painful can be as difficult as letting go of something pleasant. But let’s face it – holding on is a lot of work. When we really think about what we’re holding onto, the effort just isn’t worthwhile. It’s time to let go of our character defects and ask God to remove them.
Just for today: I’m ready to have my defects removed. I will let go and allow a loving Higher Power to care for me.
In this reading it is talking about letting go of character defects by prayer. However, it takes more than prayer to let go. In my experience, I have not been able to pray the defects away- I needed to put in devotion to do so. Still to this day I have trouble with defects of character, however, I am more aware of them. I can now prevent myself from letting the defects slip because I have practiced doing so.
“You have to pray and take action,” I said.
Because I practice removing my character defects they don’t pop up on a day-to-day basis anymore. I practice by prayer and being aware of what I am saying and doing at all times. There are times where my character defects still show and that is okay – if I learn from them.
One of the character defects that still pops up time to time for Corey, Connor, and me is dishonesty. We are in no means perfect but always learn from our mistakes to try and prevent it from happening in the future.
“Instead of worrying about lying, try to change your attention to being honest,” Connor said.
What I do to prevent lying, or any other defect from popping up is, to put more attention to what I should be doing instead of worrying about what I was doing wrong. It is less work and saves energy doing so.
“It is a lot easier to be honest than lie constantly. I don’t have to work very hard about what I told the truth about,” Corey said.
The good thing about being honest is I don’t have to work hard in remembering what I said. With a lie, there is so much pressure. It is easy to forget the lie I told and that can cause more havoc- telling the truth is a smarter decision- no matter the consequences.
“It feels better to tell the truth,” I said.
Being honest is the better option- always. I will not only have to remember a lie I will also feel guilt by being dishonest.
“Awareness plus action equals change,” Reisto said.
Overall, letting go of character defects such as lying, I need to act along with being aware and prayer.
NA and AA
The NA: Just for today focuses on letting go of character defects and the AA: Daily reflections puts attention on improving a conscious contact with a Higher Power. While each reading is slightly different, they share the same importance. They give me hope and guide me in the right direction. Also, it reminded me of how blessed I am to be living a life clean and sober.
November 21st, 2016: A Classic Prayer
Lord, make me a channel for thy peace – that where there is hatred, I may bring love – that where there is wrong. I may bring the spirit of forgiveness – that where there is discord, I may bring harmony – that where there is error, I may bring truth – that where there is doubt, I may bring faith – that where there is despair, I may bring hope – that where there are shadows, I may bring light – that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted – to understand, than to be understood – to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 99
No matter where I am in my spiritual growth, the St. Francis prayer helps me improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding. I think that one of the great advantages of my faith in God is that I do not understand Him, or Her, or It. It may be that my relationship with my Higher Power is so fruitful that I do not have to understand. All that I am certain of is that if I work the Eleventh Step regularly, as best I can, I will continue to improve my conscious contact, I will know His will for me, and I will have the power to carry it out.
Daily Reflections: http://www.justfortodaymeditations.com/daily-recovery-readings-november-21-2
My Higher Power Works in Mysterious Ways
This reading speaks for itself. No matter where I am in my spiritual journey, I can always come back to the St. Francis prayer to improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power. Even though I may not understand my Higher Power and His works, I know whatever is happening in my life at this very moment is His plan for me.
“In my experience I have never seen such incredible improvements in my life,” Connor said.
I know that whatever is going on in my life, if I am doing the next right thing, is my Higher Power’s plan for me. Because I am living on my Higher Power’s will for me and have the power to carry it out life has changed for the better before my eyes.
“There are so many things that happen and I don’t know why,” I said.
Life has changed in such a positive way. Sometimes I ask myself, “Why me. Why do I deserve this?” It is because I am living on God’s will. Also, I am staying clean and sober- that is an everyday accomplishment.
“When I was running on self-will there was nothing good for me,” I said.
My life has changed in such positive ways because of my Higher Power. When I was running on self-will the only thing I did was slowly kill myself by getting high on Heroin each second of everyday. I am so grateful to have the ability to live on God’s will- even though I don’t always understand it.